Forgiving What You Can’t Forget: A Sacred Path to Healing and Peace

Have you ever carried a wound so deep that even time couldn’t soften it?

Have you ever whispered to yourself, “I want to forgive... but I just can’t forget”?

If so, my beautiful soul, you are not alone and you are not broken.

You’re simply standing in the tender space between pain and peace—a sacred place where healing begins.

Recently, I felt called to speak on forgiveness. Not the kind of forgiveness that tells you to smile and move on while your heart still bleeds. Not the kind that demands you welcome someone back into your life without boundaries or healing. I’m talking about real forgiveness—the kind that frees you, even when the pain still lingers.

This message was inspired by the best-selling book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst, but what I’m sharing here is more than inspiration—it’s lived truth. And I want to offer you three soul-healing steps to help you walk your own path toward peace.

Step 1: Forgiveness is a Choice, Not a Feeling

Let’s begin here: You don’t have to wait until you feel ready to forgive. Forgiveness is not something that grows out of comfort—it’s something that grows out of courage.

Choosing to forgive doesn’t mean you’re saying it was okay. It means you’re choosing not to carry their pain in your spirit anymore.

Imagine holding a heavy bag filled with stones—each one a word, a wound, a betrayal. Now imagine setting that bag down. That’s what forgiveness feels like.

Let go of the weight. Not because they’ve changed… but because you are choosing to.

Say it with me: “I choose to forgive. Not for them—but for me.”

Step 2: Own Your Pain Before It Owns You

You cannot heal what you do not feel.

Too often we try to bury our pain, dress it up in spiritual language, or hide it behind strength. But the truth is, your hurt is holy, and it deserves to be acknowledged.

So speak it: “That hurt me.” “That broke my heart.” “That changed me.”

Let your body release the grief—through tears, through breath, through prayer. The moment you bring it into the light is the moment it begins to lose its grip.

When the triggers come—and they will—pause and ask yourself, “What am I really feeling right now?” Breathe. Name it. Let it pass.

This is how you become whole again.

Step 3: Reframe the Story, Reclaim the Power

You can’t change the past. But you can change what it means.

Your mind may replay the scene over and over again, but your soul is the storyteller now. And you get to rewrite the meaning.

Instead of saying, “That moment broke me,” say, “That moment revealed me.”

That pain did not destroy you, it awakened you, it prepared you, it taught you the strength you never knew you had.

You are not the wound. You are the wisdom that rose from it.

One More Sacred Truth: Forgiveness Doesn’t Mean Reconciliation

This one is so important, and I need you to feel it in your spirit.

Forgiveness does not mean you have to let that person back into your life.

You can release them with love. You can pray for them, bless them, and wish them peace, but you can also close the door.

Some relationships are meant to end. Some doors are meant to stay closed. Forgiveness is the spiritual release—not the return.

Say it if you need to: “I forgive you… I release you… and I now choose peace.”

Let’s Seal This Together

Take a moment. Place your hand over your heart. Feel the warmth. Feel the rhythm of your life.

Now speak this aloud, soul to soul:

“I choose to forgive. Not to forget what happened…but to remember who I AM. I AM healing. I AM rising. I AM free.”

Want to Go Deeper?

This blog was inspired by the book Forgiving What You Can’t Forget by Lysa TerKeurst—a gentle, powerful guide for those ready to do the hard, holy work of forgiveness. If this message stirred something in your heart, I invite you to read the book.

🕊️ Click here to purchase it through our Amazon affiliate link → https://amzn.to/4ex7Dsy (Your purchase supports this website and podcast ministry with a small commission—thank you for helping us continue the work of healing and light.)

And if this message touched your heart, I invite you to listen to the full podcast episode on Manifest I AM with Sista’ Joy—available now on Buzzsprout and all major platforms.

With love always,

Sista’ Joy

Uplifting the Spirit, Illumining the Mind & Gladdening the Heart